Feb 022009
 

If you are unfortunate enough to live in Birmingham and need to travel locally by train, you will, on most journeys, be forcibly subjected to television programmes. Sitting in the “Quiet Zone” of each carriage offers no escape since these zones are open to the blaring of the televisions. The signal cannot be shut off. You can close your eyes but you must hear.

Currently the choice (by the train company) of aggravating infotainment is Sky News. Sky News is the sort of station that is unable to think beyond having jingles that have fake Morse code as a theme. That idea was old by the sixties and was done much better back then. Furthermore, Sky News is the sort of station that literally has ONE news story, and today that story is “IT IS SNOWING”.

Here’s what a loop of “news” about the sky sounds like.

DIT DEE DIT DEEE
It’s snowing.
The weather forecast shows snow.
Here’s a map of the UK, showing where snow will fall.
It’s snowing.
And now a special report from someone by a roadside.
Drivers have been warned not to drive unless they have to. But some people need to travel by car to get to where they want to go (NB: this is very nearly a verbatim quote).
It’s snowing. Back to the studio.
DIT DEE DIT DEEE
It’s snowing.
Here’s a map of the UK showing snow. The forecast is for snow.
This is the worst snow for 5 years. (They don’t remark on the freakishly mild winters).
It’s snowing. Here’s a special report from London.
Here in London it has been snowing. Drivers are having to drive slowly.
Concern is mounting for Britain’s already ailing economy as shops close early (again, this is pretty much a verbatim quote).
It is snowing. But it is not all bad. This small boy is enjoying playing in the snow.
Back to the studio.
DIT DEE DIT DEEE
It’s snowing. Here’s a map showing snowfall in the UK. Snow is expected.
And now a comment from An Expert with an excited “I’m on TV” smile. She explains that this has been the heaviest snow fall in “many years” (see elsewhere the report of “5” for “many”).
Back to the studio.
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
There is no escape.
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE…

Yes it’s snowing. But you might prefer walking to catching a train.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

css.php