Straight Outta…

 Drivel  Comments Off on Straight Outta…
Aug 302015

So let’s jump on this “Straight Outta…” bandwagon…

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge.

Compton Croquet Club, Eastbourne, UK.

What’s My Line?

 Birmingham, Drivel  Comments Off on What’s My Line?
May 222011

Here’s a poster from a local fast food restaurant.

Q. Can you tell what this man does for a living?


A. That’s right: he’s a fish.


 Drivel, Mac software  Comments Off on Alerted
Dec 122010


That’s something for the “to do” list then…


I could have sworn that I had only used it 16,777,216 times…


So how necessary was this alert message?

pointless monologues.jpg

“Nothing is wrong. Nothing needs to be done. Click me”. Sure. Fine. Yes. Get on with it…

Ikea sofa giblets

 Drivel  Comments Off on Ikea sofa giblets
Oct 012009

Ikea sofa giblets.jpgWith every new Ikea sofa: sofa giblets! Sofa giblets contain wheels but no liver, heart or gizzard. So they are only metaphorically giblets. And the metaphor is weak.


Sofa giblets!

Analogue Cheese Flavour

 Communication, Drivel, Society  Comments Off on Analogue Cheese Flavour
Aug 232009


The San Marco brand bills its margherita pizza as a “deep pan pizza base topped with tomato sauce, analogue cheese flavour and mozzarella cheese”. So, does “analogue cheese” contain highly resonant filters that might make pizza-loving synthesiser owners “phat”?

“Analogue cheese” is in fact listed as being “water, vegetable oil, milk proteins, starch, salt, emulsifying salts (sodium citrates and sodium phosphates), colour (beta carotene)”.


Bloggers in Biofeedback Baloney Backlash

 Drivel, Music Technology  Comments Off on Bloggers in Biofeedback Baloney Backlash
May 202009


The synthesiser world was sent reeling yesterday (and the day before that, and the day before, and indeed last week) when dozens of music blogs published a photograph of a man wearing a hat.

But this was no ordinary hat: it had electrodes, and its wearer claimed that he would use it to control his synthesiser.

But this was no ordinary synthesiser: it was an old synthesiser, with patch cables.

“Look,” explained the Artist, “at me”.

But last night the synth community reeled in shock from suggestions that they had been the victims of an elaborate hoax.

One heartbroken blogger, who wished not to remain anonymous, was driven to tears.

“The intensely self-satisfied yet faintly ironic look on his face convinced me that this was a serious sound artist who had taken to wearing electrode hats. If this photo is part of a hoax, it is a very cruel and irresponsible one”.

Twitter Tragedy – Who is to Blame?

 Drivel  Comments Off on Twitter Tragedy – Who is to Blame?
Apr 172009

pothole2.jpgHope is fading for the Twitter users who disappeared recently in perilous circumstances.

The twittering pot-holers – or “twotholers”, as they are known – were believed to be trying to find the fabled north-west approach to Stephen Fry’s Passage when conditions took a turn for the worst.

A spokesman for the rescue patrol said that there was still a slight crack of hope, and that there could yet be light at the end of the tunnel.

“Millions of twitterers a year try this difficult sport without incident”, he explained. “Usually the attempts are unsuccessful but safe, but in this case it is unfortunate that a particularly tight crawl was attempted”.

Mac OS X 10.5 shortcuts

 Drivel, Mac software  Comments Off on Mac OS X 10.5 shortcuts
Mar 292009

Display a spinning beachball


Display a spinning beachball


Display a spinning beachball

Look at the screen

Display a spinning beachball